When people ask me what we do instead of school, I hardly know where to begin. If they’re parents of public schooled kids, I know that they probably think we sit down for lessons at 8, break for lunch and then do more lessons until 2:30. Or they think that we’re slackers and just goof off all day, except for the banjo lessons so we can play the theme song from “Deliverance”, pick our teeth and look dumb. Well, this week, I’ve been paying attention and keeping track, something I’m not usually accused of. This is what we’ve done instead of school.
We started the week with Daughter and I going to a playgroup for (be still my heart) secular homeschoolers. Add in that they’re mostly unschoolers and you’ll know why we’re so chuffed. Of course, we meet in a church, but we’re okay with that. Atheists are used to irony. This group is such a contrast to the groups we’ve tried in the past and to the school where Daughter spent three miserable years being told that she just didn’t measure up.
They pay attention to their kids. They don’t push their kids to do things the kids don’t want to do. They’re aware when some of the kids have trouble with the noise in the big echoing room and take them outside for a break. When we realized that the noise was going to be a problem, a couple of the moms talked to the man who negotiated the site use and we worked out a plan to get a quiet room for the next meeting. No memos. No hierarchy. No copies in triplicate. It’s a cooperative and the parents are all on the same page.
As for the kids, there isn’t a bully in the bunch. Now isn’t that strange, considering how many there are in the school systems around the country? Some of the kids are bumptious. Some are high-energy and would probably have a lot of trouble staying seated for a day of classroom work. They were the kids who were kicking soccer balls, whacking the floor hockey bats around and swinging plastic jump ropes. (Daughter was onboard with that part of the time.)
Once in a while, they bumped into another kid and once one of them whacked another kid with a jump rope. When they did, they immediately apologized, went to the kid they bumped into or whacked and made sure they were okay. They shared their games, toys, paper, markers and crayons. They were scrupulous about including newcomers, including my daughter, in their games. When we said goodbye, one of them hugged my daughter and most of them made a point of saying goodbye and saying they’d see us next week. It was a great start to the week.
Today, it rained and Daughter was forced to stay inside. She didn’t complain though, because she has Thora and the Green Sea Unicorn to read. The first Thora book was a hit with Daughter and me and this one is just as good. If you like Pippi Longstocking’s attitude, and I did, you’ll like Thora. Also in Daughter’s library stack are a bunch of the Rainbow Fairies books; the latest American Girl book about Julie, who lives in the 70’s; Junie B Jones books and some Judy Moody books. I always get the two series confused, but when I hear the audiobooks for Junie B Jones, I know which is which. Junie’s nasal but somehow charming voice reminds me of Lily Tomlin’s “Alice Ann” character on Laugh-In.
There are a couple of Pokemon books in the stack for a change of pace and two BabyMouse books that she’s read before. Next to the books in the bookcase, are some videos: two Redwall videos, The Twelve Dogs of Christmas and Anne of Green Gables, the really good Canadian tv version. We all watched Redwall tonight and booed Cluny the Rat and cheered young Matthias and Cornflower. My favorite character is Constance, the badger, whose feisty attitude is a nice contrast to Father Abbot’s pacifist stance. Me, I would have poured boiling oil onto Cluny when he first showed up. I guess I’m more of a badger than a mouse.
Tomorrow is a red letter day because we go to pick up Daughter’s new glasses and we do it in the Dodge Caliber rental car that we have until Dodgey, our trusty Durango, gets his steering rack replaced. We thought he was a little more skittery over bumps than usual, but didn’t realize that he was a hairpin turn away from losing it completely. Thank goodness for 100,000 mile warranties.
The rest of the week is going to be pretty quiet if I have my way, because this weekend we’re going to a War. It’s an Uncivil War between our shire and another shire in the Society for Creative Anachronism. We’re all bringing pot luck and there’s a rumor that the adults will get to sample the mead that the Thunder Clan is after. (The mead mistress has threatened to pour moxie into it if Thunder prevails, a heinous fate indeed for Sylvia’s good mead.) The day after the war there’s a medieval dance practice that I know Daughter and Son will want to attend, so I’ll be there with a hey-nonny-nonny and a ha-cha-cha, as Groucho Marx once said.
Then it’s back to Monday and the play group and another week of slacking off from lessons and workbooks. Jeez, can it be that kids can actually learn without someone standing over them and directing every step they take? Will Daughter grow up to be a Walmart greeter or hash slinger at the local diner or will she open the doggie daycare that she’s been talking about since she was 3? Will Son go into the Marines to get a college scholarship instead of pursuing an art career? (Not bloody likely if I have anything to say about it.) Stay tuned and drop me a line telling me what your kids do instead of school. I’d really like to know.
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Instead of school, we: read, listen to books on tape, play games (Sleeping Queens, Mystery Garden, Blockus, Uno, and Apples to Apples Junior are current favorites), write letters to family and notes to each other, (the older two girls) take dance class, play computer games, draw, paint, sculpt, make all sorts of weird concoctions and homemade art materials, swim, play, care for our animals, grow a garden, travel, go to plays & concerts, watch TV (I freely admit that I’m not a radical unschooler and my kids are only allowed to watch PBS and videos from the library or Netflix — we live out in the sticks and don’t have access to cable — and I’m not sure I’d want it any way), do errands, go on field trips, play with friends … basically just live our lives as if school didn’t exist — which it doesn’t for us.
I “strew” a lot, by which I mean that I buy, rent, or borrow lots of different materials that I think my kids might like — dd1 (7) likes to do workbook math, so if I see a Barbie math workbook, I’ll pick it up for her and she’ll use it when and how she likes — I’m there to help if she asks, but I don’t assign pages. But, I also observe her using math in her daily life, and that’s so much more important to me — “OK, Livie and Annie (her younger sisters), we’ve got 18 marshmallow pumpkins in this package, so that means we each get six.” I also get stuff like a handpainted sun-dyed scarf-making kit ($3.99 at Christmas Tree Shop — woo hoo), Fimo, an Usborne sticker atlas, fat quarters on sale at the fabric store — anything I think they might like, not strictly “educational” stuff.
I get many DVDs and books on tape, some they love and we watch/listen to them over and over, some they like and we’ll do them once, and others we try and discard without finishing. Usually, if they like the story, it leads to some informal study of different subjects. One recent tangent led us from a story about the Gold Rush to geography (why did the mining company have to sail around Cape Horn to get from New York to San Fransisco), the periodic table of elements (what is gold made out of?), properties of metals (why is gold heavy? why is it soft? how do they turn it into jewelry?) The main thing I try never to do is to suck the joy out of the experience by requiring them to write a report on gold or write a revew of the book or make up quizzes or tests about the stuff we research — I usually hear them telling someone (my mom or husband, the checkout person at Hannaford, lol) about whatever they learned and they always astound me with their grasp of concepts and memory for details. I figure, if it’s relevant to them, they’ll learn as much as they need to know, and that’s fine with me.
We go to the library at least twice a week, where I choose some stuff and they choose whatever they want — we rarely have less than 50 items checked out at a time. I am jazzed that even my 4 yo will say, “Let’s ask Miss Kate (one of the children’s librarians)” when we are interested in finding books on certain topics. Their standard response when they ask a question and I don’t know the answer is, “Let’s look it up on the internet!” And that’s really what I’m after, as far as their education goes — for them to retain their natural curiosity, and to have the skills to pursue their interests.
The other thing dh and I both do is pursue our own interests — I like to knit, and spin and dye my own yarn; cook; bake artisan bread; and garden. Dh is an artist and computer geek who raises all our family’s meat — turkey, chicken, pork and beef and builds barns and redoes the plumbing and electrical work on our 150 year old house — a never ending adventure.
Every once in a while I have a major freak-out, like yesterday when I realized my 7 yo didn’t kow how to spell our last name. Yikes! But why should she? — she signs letters to family and friends with just her first name, and I usually give her an address label for the envelope. So, I told her that writing her full name was one of the few things she absolutely had to know how to do, and she sat down and did it (with much wailing and gnashing of teeth, as she is totally not used to being assigned work) and after about 3 repeats, she had it down. Freak-out officially over, I felt stupid for not trusting that she would do it whenever she needed to. I am so not a perfect unschooler, but the times between freakouts are getting longer and longer, and my younger kids almost never have to suffer through them — poor dd1, lol.
Thanks for the great blog, Lill, I always enjy hearing what your family is up to, and I appreciate your perspective on many things.
So, I gotta know. What’s the group’s policy on unhealthful snacks?? Sounds like I just may have to move to Maine!
Actually, I just dropped by to let you know that you’ve WON one of my cheesy awards!!
(I hope you don’t mind that I linked your post about your late son. I think it’s very beautiful. But, if you’d prefer that I not link it, just let me know and I’ll pull it.)
Shine On
Can I live at your house, Jackie? It sounds like exactly the kind of place where a kid (or mom for that matter) could make a really neat life. I strew too, but don’t tell my kids. They think everything they come up with is original with them.
We don’t have cable or dish either and hardly even watch PBS. We’re always saying we’re going to, but we seem to forget to turn it on at the right time.
Lynn, I have no objection to anything you do. I trust your judgement and I’ll be right over for the cheese. Gee, I hope it’s muenster. It’s my fave.
Shine On,
Lill
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